The Pink Room of Doom
by Dags-Calhoun
Summary: Au as usual hehe. OK IT's St.Valentines day at old HOgwarts and the students and staff of the schoolare locked in to the GreatHall hopfully hilarity insues and you like it. HGSS I think
1. They are fluffy, cute and have tallons

"Oh, Dear God." Said Severus walking into an utterly pink room "I've walked into the room of my own personal hell." For the past several years he has walked into this same room and it had _never_ been this pink. He had been frozen in place looking at the Great Hall like it was a dead opossum on his seat. He turned around intent on leaving as soon as he could witch would be right away but slammed into a barrier and got seriously pissed off.

"ALBUS!" he yelled spinning around to look at a tall thin and old man standing at the head table. Even at that distance he could seethe mad twinkle in the old mans eyes. "Students and teachers, as you can see and have probably been waiting for, St. Valentines day has arrived!" Many of the students started clapping at that. "We will be in this room all day with no classes and no one will be allowed to leave!" people were screaming, most in joy but some in complete outrage such as the teachers and some odd Rravenclaw students, but nobody likes them. "NOW LET THE PARTY BEGIN!" he ended with a swipe of his electric purple cloak.

"I am going to kill him." Severus said in a voice that clearly showed he was not to be messed with. He walked, or rather stalked, up to the head table asking Dumbledore with a fake smile "Albus , what the Fuck are you doing?" McGonagall having never heard him cuss, never even saying a simple bloody hell, was dumbfounded and didn't even relies to whom he said it to. "Now, my boy, there is no need for profanity. I am just lighting the mood for all the people in Hogwarts, besides them apparently." HE said gesturing to the weird Ravenclaws searching in their books for something that might make this illegal. "That I'm quite sure you did on purpose. They wont find a thing wrong with it and eventually join the students who don't have a stick up their arses." He said now leaning against the Headmasters chair. "Severus! Don't talk about the students like that!" exclaimed Minerva having gotten over her shock. " Why it's true, for most of them any way." He said looking over at her "Well I'm sure you-." She was suddenly cut off when large Fluffy Pink Bunnies came pouring into the room. Severus looked over at Dumbledore and shouted "YOU-SON-OF-A-…"

A/N: HEHE To be continued if you want. FLAME ME PLEASE!


	2. Mwhahahahaha, funky heart anyone?

Hey thanks for all the reviews people and I'll try to get up a chapter every weekend but not on weekdays 'cause my brother is always on then and I can't get him off.

**Disclaimer: None of this stuff is mine, nor will it ever be mine, so fuckoff okay?**

Severus was, unfortunately, stopped from saying any more as a large Fluffy Pink Bunny came up and put a pink, purple, yellow, orange, lime green and puce heart into his mouth "Biffs." He said after a momentary pause. He took out the oddly colored heart and asked the old man sitting before him "What the hell is this?" Dumbledore looked at it and said, "Why I do believe that, that is a heart." Severus narrowed his eyes at him "No shit Sherlock." He said prodding at his 'heart'.

He wasn't really expecting any thing; I mean it was a heart, a very oddly colored heart. He really should have known better. He apparently seemed to have pressed a button or something because there was a small indent where his finger had just pressed and suddenly he heard screaming. People started flying all over the place. 'What the hell did I do' someone slamming in to him sending him sprawling out across the ground ripped him out of his thoughts. " Oh my, Professor, I'm so sor-." His mouth on hers suddenly stopped the girl on top of him. She closed her eyes and took the kiss deeper.

" I see you have finnaly taken my advice on unity, good good." Said a voice that could only be Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. " The girl now identified as Hermione Granger raised her head and looked at the Headmaster, then she looked down to see a long-haired man with his eyebrow raised. Hermione blushed so hard and got off of him thinking 'Oh my god I just kissed the hottest teacher in the school'. "Oh my. "she said not looking at the Headmaster, who's eyes were as bright as the Northern Star, nor the good looking man who was eyeing her. "Um, if you'll excuse me." She said getting up. " oh no you don't." she heard while being pulled back down to the Potions Professor and Master. "The school needs unity anyway." Said the man himself pulling her into another breath taking kiss. 'Along with so many thoughts one seemed to be more clear then all the others 'Unity rules'.

A/N: I know not my best but again I ask for flames nice scorching flames that will keep me worm in a desert night. I hate Arizona no offence to those reading this who could possibly be from the accursed state.


	3. JUst there, Aint it cute?

**Disclaimer: It aint mine so Fuckoff all you damn lawyers!**

A/N:Hey every one this was supposed to just be oh say two chapters but a rather persuasive woman has asked for it to continu so it was all her doin'.

"If you will please extract yourself from our Potions teacher, Miss Granger, we have things to clean up." Said Dumbledore while pulling outa lemon drop from his powder puff pink (A/N EEEWWW!) robesand pop it in his mouth.HE looked over at the couple again seeing they had not gotten up. He looked at them oddly and bent down to see if they had actually heard him.He found out that they most definently hadn't or were ignoring him completely because Hermione was still kissing, more like playing tonsel hokey, with her professor, with the added bonus of being flicked off by his young employee. Seeing that he would never get them to willingly separate from each other he grabed his wand and levitated his proferssor into the airaaway from Hermione and letting him down about five feet away from her. "Good now I believe we should start prying the students off oneanother." Said Dumbledore straightening up and walkiong around with that goddamned twinkle in his eyees as he saw several of the couples or groups (YEE-HAW!) of different houses such as; Harry & Pansy, Draco &Ginny, Ron & Millicent Bulstrode, and Parvati, Lavender, Padma, Remus, and Dean. HE happened to not notice how cute it looked to see Severus walk over to Hermione giss her a quik kiss, rap his arm around her waist, and them walking away to separate the other people that had been shot into kissing each other. That was of course until they noticed all the Fluffy pink Bunnies lineing the wall grinning evily showing their extraordinarily sharp ass teeth. Sufice to say that when they started singing there rather evil song Dumbledore was somewhat forced to call off the wards before they where all slatered and eaten like rabbits, by evil bunnies.

A/N: ok that ends very abruptly and probably isn't really funnybut do review and sorry to Angel for doing that to you. If any of you readers would like to now the Fluffy Pink Bunnies please ask in Reviews or Email. If I have my email available. I should probably look into that. Oh well.


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